Charm School worked for Bay Bay Bay – maybe too well. Having learned her lesson, she removed herself from the competition, giving up the chance to win $100,000. Below, the woman Ricki Lake referred to as “my best student,” talks about changing, the difficult decision not to allow either Ki Ki or K.O back in the competition, the difference between being expelled and being excused, and why she thinks she should be promoted to dean in future installments of Charm School.
What is your take on the show? How was it for you?
Looking at the show from where I am now, I feel great about it. It really helped me to center myself and become a little better as a person. I wish it were a little better as far as the judging was concerned and as far as how they handled things. But I learned my lesson, so that’s all that really matters to me.
What was the turning point for you? It seemed like one day you were yelling and loud, and then the next day you were calm and had tons of empathy.
There wasn’t really a turning point. That’s just the type of person that I am. However, when I’m out in a situation where I’m being yelled at, or I’m being cussed out, or I’m being called out my name, I can only take so much. In that situation, all I was doing was defending myself. Yes, it kind of looked like I come off a little hard, but my exterior at a point is very, very hard.
I guess the question is: when did you realize that you had learned your lesson, that you were done with the show?
The lesson on fear, and teaching us to let go and to embrace the things that have happened to us, that really just helped me to stop. Everything that I was doing that was negative, it just helped me to stop, and say, “You know what? Life is too big, and the bigger picture is so much more.” There’s so much more to life than yelling, than cussing people out, than getting upset, and letting someone steal your energy. It’s always better to stay centered. After watching these shows, and even reevaluating myself, I realized that I every time I opened my mouth and was yelling and screaming at someone, I was allowing them to steal my power. So, in essence, by shutting my mouth and being seen and leading by example, I earned all that power back.
Was it your idea to have another girl replace you in the competition?
It wasn’t necessarily my idea, but I did go to Ricki and tell her, “If I’m good, send me.” I knew that I wasn’t gonna win. Looking at all the other girls, and looking into their stories, and seeing how the eliminations had gone prior to my being excused – because I want to clarify me being “expelled.” I was not expelled, I was excused. I believe that is probably the first time that has ever happened on Charm School, and I like to start trends. But I don’t know, I figured I had learned and there were girls there that weren’t changing, that probably never changed. Like Ashley, she never changed. She’s probably somewhere riding a pole now. And that’s probably what she is gonna do for the rest of her life. I hope not, because she has a child. And I would hope that you would do the best thing for that child. But, you know, such is life. There are people out here who don’t care about their kids, that they’re just worrying about where they’re gonna get that next drink. If you watch the last episode, where I was excused, you see how Ashley was able to talk to Bubbles like a dog. She basically says what she wants about everyone, and it’s okay. But when Ki Ki, or So Hood, myself, or K.O., or anybody went off on Bubbles, we’re seen as the demons. When Ashley does it, it’s funny, but when we do it, it’s ghetto.
The weird thing about this show is that you were called the best student and, you showed the most empathy…and yet, because of that, you knew you wouldn’t win. Charm School is a competition, in which a person can do too well.
Doing the show, and not knowing how they were gonna edit it, and not knowing what people were saying when I was not there, I was just going with what my heart told me to do. My spirit was telling me, “It’s your time to go. Give it to someone who deserves it,” and I felt like there was someone else who deserved it more than me. But watching the show now, I should have been the winner. Bubbles and Risky are the only two girls left who deserve it. At least, I feel like I should have stuck around. Maybe I would have been able to have taught them a little more.
You wanted to bring Ki Ki back, because you said you didn’t like how she went out. Like Risky, did you think her elimination was racially motivated?
In the beginning I did. But as the show went on, I started to realize that certain people are favored. And that’s just the business. That’s just how it works. You really can’t be mad at it, you just have to go in and give it your best show. But as far as the whole Ki Ki situation, when they asked me who I wanted to bring back, I actually said Ki Ki or So Hood. But they wouldn’t put So Hood in it, because she slapped Brittanya. Oh, that was funny.
That’s a shame. I loved So Hood so much.
She came in there and she was really there to change. She even got sick one night, and her and Bubbles were together, and Bubbles doctored her up. And it was just a trip how they made it seem like she did not like Bubbles, and she just hated Bubbles, and Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles, when in all actuality, she and Bubbles got along very well.
What about those early episodes when you all could be seen screaming at Bubbles?
In that situation, Bubbles had come at us, talking about, “Well you guys are bubbleheads,” and “You’re this,” and what got me personally was she said, “Bay Bay Bay, X, Y and Z” so many times. And it took for her to say that about five times for me to get up. What you saw was that as soon as So Hood opened her mouth, I got up, like, “Here we go!” That’s so not how it was. It was not that serious. So Hood can fight her own battles.
What was it about Ki Ki that endeared her to you, when many of the other girls had problems with her?
Yes, she had that argument the first day, but that one argument, they drew out and made it seem like she had the whole time she was there. In actuality, she uplifted so many people. She helped Bubbles. After we got through that one altercation, they had a conversation. I made them have a conversation because we were Real Chance of Love girls. Regardless of whether we’re on this show with everybody and we’re all trying to mesh and be better people, we know each other from a previous show, so why not show each other that love? So, they got together, they spoke, and it was a magical thing. She also helped K.O. The conversation that K.O. and I had outside on the sixth episode, when K.O. was telling me about somebody pulling off her belt, Ki Ki was sitting right next to me. And Ki Ki was giving her words of advice as well, but they don’t show that because at that point they show that Ki Ki was eliminated. Ki Ki has a very powerful way of helping people. Sometimes, her mouth can get her in trouble. But that’s with all of us. So I just felt like she needed a second chance.
Was it ultimately because everybody was so mad about the fact that she might be brought back that you decided not to bring her back?
Oh no. My decisions come from my heart. I don’t let others dictate what I do. I’m a leader, I’m not a follower in any way, shape or form. Watching the show from my end, it makes it seem like everyone was a follower. Everyone was so selfish, and had a lack of compassion, that they weren’t willing to open their hearts and let anyone come in. And at that point I felt like Ricki should have sent someone else home. Even if she sent me home the next episode, I feel like she should have sent someone home because no one had learned the lesson.
So then what was it ultimately that made you decide not to bring Ki Ki back?
After talking with her, I really thought about it. With her not being there, I couldn’t say whether she was at home doing the same things she was doing before or if she had changed. I couldn’t make that distinction, so it was not fair for me to allow her to come back. If you’re expelled, you’re expelled.
How is your stalker situation going?
I have not heard anything, I have not seen anything, I have not gotten calls from him in about six or seven months. That’s a very, very good thing. That’s a very sensitive subject for me because that’s something that’s real life and I have to deal with, but I just thank God that it’s died down.
It was hardcore when you admitted that you carry a gun.
It’s not about being hardcore – it’s about protection. And sometimes, you can be caught off guard. I’m very into the Cold Case Files and the American Justice and I see how certain things happen. I just don’t want to be a statistic.
So even though you didn’t come away with the $100,000, you did change. Do you feel like you got a sufficient of reward from your time on the show?
Oh definitely. Money is not everything. You can’t take money with you when you die. The lessons that life can teach me are far better than any money I can put in my pocket. But, guaranteed, my pockets are not hurting. I’m very well taken care of. And $100,000 after taxes is not even close to what’s in my bank account, so it doesn’t really matter to me. I was there for change, I wasn’t there for money. Young kids watch these shows, and I want to show teens and children that you can be compassionate. You don’t have to be money hungry and greedy. Money, in a sense, is the root of all evil.
You mentioned on the Real Chance reunion that you were engaged. Are you getting married soon?
Yes, yes. It’s funny because I read blogs sometimes, and I see people saying, “Oh, she needs to sit down. I thought she was getting married. She lied about it.” People need to realize that a wedding does not take three months to plan; it takes time. I got engaged on December 28, and my wedding will be July 29. So, in about three weeks, I will be a married woman. So for everyone that has the question, whether I’m faking it or not: there’s nothing in my body that is fake. Everything about me is 100 percent real. And this ring on my finger is 100 percent real. If you’d like to see it shining, please go to my MySpace page, and you can see it.
Do you think you’re done with reality TV?
You know what? I can never say never, but I don’t want to do it anymore. The only way that I would do it is if I was considered to be a dean of Charm School. I don’t really want to do I Love Money, because once you get stuck in the reality world and you do too many shows, you’re known as that reality show star. It’s nice to be known as a reality star, but I’m trying to do more sitcoms and movies, and things like that. I want to get my name back, because to me, Konanga is so much more beautiful than Bay Bay Bay. I really want to bring that out. Whether they changed my name on Charm School or not, people got a chance to see Konanga. And that’s what I want the world to see.
Keep up with Bay Bay Bay via her MySpace and follow her on Twitter
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